Dominant and submissive handshake. Handshake rules Touching the interlocutor. Close range

The time has come for the third article, and, this time, it will focus on a previously raised topic - the rules of a handshake for men. We have already talked about the existence of three different types of handshakes and their interpretation, but today we will dwell on this issue in more detail. Let's get started!

If you are quite sociable or because of the nature of your work you meet a large number of people during the day, then you probably have to shake hands often when answering greetings. Perhaps among friends, a handshake takes on greater “meaning”, especially if you are really happy to meet this or that person, but, more often than not, this ritual is perceived as an ordinary formality that must be performed. Behind all this veil of everyday life, consisting of a huge number of conventions, it is very difficult not only to analyze the greetings of other people, but also to simply understand why this extremely familiar ritual is actually performed. What exactly is a handshake? When is it appropriate to offer your hand in greeting and when is it not? How can you tell by a handshake what kind of person is in front of you? Today we will try to understand each of these issues.

History of the handshake

Few people know, but a handshake is a rather ancient gesture. We will not delve into history, but, for example, this ritual is attested to in a bas-relief depicting the Babylonian king Marduk-zakir-shumi I shaking hands with the Assyrian king Shalmananaser III. This episode occurred in 855 BC. An impressive figure, isn't it? There is also a version, probably the most romantic and beautiful, that this gesture found its popularity during the Middle Ages at knightly tournaments. Despite the large number of hypotheses, the meaning of a handshake has always remained the same - to show the absence of a weapon in the right hand and, as a result, to demonstrate good intentions. Agree, it is more pleasant to shake hands with your boss or acquaintance, imagining yourself as a noble knight, than to do it without any reflection.

The knights' handshake is a gesture of respect at knightly tournaments

Speaking about the history of handshakes in Russia, it is worth noting that it had the sacred meaning of transmitting biorhythm, since when the wrists touch, the pulse also connects. It was customary to shake hands only with friends, while when greeting other people, it was enough to raise your hat. This is where the expression “casual acquaintance” comes from.

Handshake etiquette and rules

The history of the handshake may have a belligerent origin, but nowadays it is, first and foremost, a greeting, and, like any greeting, it must follow the rules of etiquette.

There are a few simple rules that any self-respecting gentleman must follow:

• The right hand is always offered for a handshake (this also applies to left-handers). Your free hand should not be in your pocket.
• When offering your hand for greeting, you should not keep it relaxed, just as you should not squeeze the other person’s palm too hard. The handshake should be calm, firm (not to be confused with strong) and short.
• If you are introduced to another person, he should extend his hand first.
• When meeting a woman, she decides whether there will be a handshake or not. Etiquette dictates that a woman should offer her hand first. When people of different ages meet, the initiative to make the first move belongs to the one who is older. If your opponent decides to make do with a bow, nod or other gesture, you should not insist on a handshake, as your hand may simply hang in the air without an answer, and you will find yourself in an unpleasant situation.
• If you meet with a group of people, among whom there is an acquaintance, etiquette obliges you to shake hands with everyone present.
• Etiquette requires men to remove their gloves before greeting. This rule has exceptions, for example, in the winter season. Both hands participating in the ritual must be either gloved or without them. If your friend managed to take off his glove, you will have to follow his example.
• When leaving a small company, it would be appropriate to shake hands with everyone present. If there are many people gathered, a verbal farewell will be sufficient.

Sign language. Palms

Let's move on to our main issue, namely, sign language. When talking about a handshake, one cannot fail to mention the palms; after all, it is the palms that are involved in this ritual.

Fun fact. At all times, an open palm has been associated with honesty and sincerity. That is why oaths are taken with the palm of the hand on the heart, and abroad, when testifying in court, the Bible is held in the left hand and the right hand is raised up so that it is visible to the members of the court. These traditions are not without foundation, since the position of the palms can really make it clear about a person’s intentions.

The easiest way to tell if the recipient is sincere with you is to watch his palms. When people are being honest, they hold out one or two palms while saying something like, “I'll be honest with you!” When the recipient is frank enough, he opens his palms completely or partially. Like many gestures, this movement is completely unconscious.

• When children lie, they hide their palms behind their backs.
• If the wife wants to hide where she was all night, during explanations she will hide her palms in her pockets or keep them crossed.

A natural question arises. If I lie, but keep my palms in sight, will they believe me? It is impossible to give a definite answer. There are many other gestures that accompany lying. If they are noticeable, they will allow you to doubt your sincerity. On the contrary, if there are no noticeable ones, then, most likely, other gestures symbolizing your sincerity will also not be noticeable. We will not delve into this topic, since the purpose of this article is to interpret gestures, and not to teach how to lie to others. Instead, here's some pretty helpful advice. To increase the trust of others, make it a habit to keep your palms open while talking. This will encourage your interlocutors to be more open and trusting with you. In addition, this will reduce the number of lies both in your speech and in the speech of your interlocutors, since most people cannot lie when their palms are open.

One of the most significant and subtle non-verbal signals is the signal transmitted by the human palm. When used correctly, it gives people a greater level of authority and, in some cases, the ability to command others.

There are three types of command gestures. Let's look at them using a specific example. You should ask, for example, a colleague at work to pick up a box from the floor and place it on a cabinet, using the same words, tone of voice and facial expression. Only the position of the palm will change.

1. Open palm up position. Does not carry any threatening context. Seeing such a gesture, the person will not feel any pressure from you and will perceive all this as an ordinary request.
2. Open palm down position. This gesture carries a connotation of authority. With some probability it may cause hostility, since a person may perceive this situation as an order. If your colleague is of an equal position with you, the request may not be fulfilled.
3. "Pointing finger" Associated with coercion into submission. It is one of the most annoying gestures during dialogue. If you actively use this gesture, then try to replace it with the two previous gestures. This will help you achieve greater success in communicating with others.

Sign language. Handshake

In one of the previous articles, we already looked at the types of handshake. Depending on the position of the palms, it can denote superiority, submission and equality. To refresh your memories, let's give an example.

You meet someone for the first time, and you greet each other with a regular handshake. Depending on the position of your recipient's palm, it may mean the following:

1. Palm facing down - “This guy is trying to put pressure on me, I should be careful.”
2. Palm facing up - “Perhaps I can put pressure on this person, it’s worth taking this fact into account.”
3. Palms parallel to each other - “I definitely like this guy. We'll get along."

This information is transmitted unconsciously; after a series of training, you can train yourself to use this or that handshake to have the desired effect on others.

It is worth noting that there are exceptions to the rules. For example, people suffering from arthritis are forced to respond with a weak handshake. A limp handshake is also typical for a number of professions, for example, surgeons and musicians.

To accurately determine what kind of person is in front of you, observe his subsequent actions. A compliant person, in the future, will demonstrate other gestures that characterize him as a submissive recipient, and a domineering person will show his aggressiveness. If two powerful people greet each other, a symbolic struggle occurs between them, during which each tries to subjugate the opponent’s hand. Often this struggle results in an equal handshake in which both hands remain vertical and both people develop a sense of mutual respect. This is exactly the kind of handshake that a father teaches his son when he asks him to greet him “like a man.”

If you are greeting a powerful person, it is very difficult to persuade him to shake hands equally, and even more difficult to do it in the least noticeable way. Previously, we have already considered one of the ways to return the initiative to our own hands, but now the time has come to introduce another method of disarming such people. It will allow you not only to take control of the situation, but also to confuse the recipient with an invasion of your personal zone.

To learn this technique, you need to train the following movements:

• Movement one. When you take the power person's hand, step forward with your left foot. I recommend that you always lean forward to shake hands with your left leg, even if you do not use the technique described. This will give you room to maneuver and allow you to neutralize a dominant handshake if something happens.
• Movement two. Move your right foot forward and stand in front of the recipient on the left, moving into his personal area.
• Movement three. Place your left foot behind your right and shake your partner's hand.

This technique allows you to bring your opponent’s palm to a different position, as well as become the master of the situation, since you have violated your partner’s intimate area.

Other types of handshakes

Finally

Well, in this article we have briefly, but as informatively as possible, understood the types of handshakes, and also understood several basic rules of etiquette. As we found out, a handshake can make it clear what kind of person is in front of us, and, as they say, whoever has the information controls the situation.

Take care of your time and all the best to you!

From time immemorial, an open palm has been associated with sincerity, honesty, devotion and trust. Vows are usually taken with the palm of the hand over the heart; in court, when testimony is given, the hand is raised with an open palm, the Bible is held in the left hand, and the right hand is raised up so that it can be seen by members of the court.

In everyday life, people use two palm positions. The first is when the palm is extended in a boat and means the gesture of a beggar asking for alms. The second position is with the palm turned down, and this is a restraining or calming gesture.

The best way to find out whether the interlocutor is frank and honest with you at the moment is to observe the position of his palms. If a dog shows humility and submission to the winner by exposing its neck, then a person does this with the help of his palms. For example, when people are completely honest with you, they hold out one or both palms to you and say something like, “I will be completely honest with you” (Figure 15). When a person begins to be frank with you, he usually opens his palms completely or partially to the interlocutor. Like other body language gestures, this is a completely unconscious gesture; it tells you that the other person is telling the truth at the moment. When a child is lying or hiding something, he hides his palms behind his back.

Likewise, if a wife wants to hide from her husband the fact that she went out all night with her friends, she will hide her hands in her pockets or keep them crossed during explanations. Thus, hidden palms can tell her husband that she is hiding the truth.

Sales agents are trained to look at clients' hands when they explain the reason for not making a purchase, because the real reasons can be judged by the openness of the palms.

The reader may ask, “Do you mean that if I tell a lie with open palms, people will believe me?” The answer to this question is both yes and no. If you tell a blatant lie with your palms open, you may still appear insincere to your interlocutors because you will lack other gestures that characterize a person telling the truth, but you will notice the negative gestures characteristic of someone telling a lie; and none of this will go well with your open palms. It has already been said that swindlers and professional deceivers have a special talent - to bring their nonverbal signals into line with verbal deceitful statements. The better they use non-verbal gestures when lying, characteristic of a person telling the truth, the more professional they are in their field.

However, you can increase your credibility by developing the habit of keeping your palms open when communicating with people. Conversely, when the open palm gesture becomes a habit, the number of lies in your speech decreases. It is interesting to note that most people cannot tell a lie if their palms are open. Open palms can be used to make others lie less.

Your open palms also encourage others to be trusting and frank with you.

One of the least noticeable and at the same time the most significant non-verbal signals is the signal transmitted by the human palm. If the power of the palm is used correctly, it can give a person more authority and the ability to command others.

There are three basic command palm gestures: palm up position, palm down position, and pointing finger position.

The difference between these three positions can be seen from the following example: let's say you need to ask someone to lift a box and move it to another place in the room. Let us also assume that we will use the same words, say them in the same tone of voice and with the same facial expression. Only the position of the palm will change.

The open palm upward position is a trusting, non-threatening gesture, reminiscent of the begging gesture of a beggar on the street. The person we ask to move the box will not feel any pressure, and in a subordinate situation, he will perceive it as a request on your part.

When your palm is turned down, your gesture will immediately have a hint of authority. The person to whom you made your request will feel as if he has been ordered to move the box, and may even feel hostile towards you, depending on your relationship with him. For example, if this is your colleague of the same position as you, then he may not comply with your request, but if you asked him with a different gesture, when the palm is facing up, then he would do it. If the person to whom you are addressing your request is your subordinate, then he will fulfill it without objection, because in this case you have the right to use this gesture.

In Fig. 18 shows a pointing gesture. The fingers of the hand are clenched into a fist, and together with the extended index finger, the whole configuration becomes similar to a kind of club, with the help of which a person is forced into submission. The “pointing finger” gesture is one of the most annoying used by a person in the process of speech, especially if it coincides in meaning with the words spoken. If you have a habit of pointing, try replacing this gesture by changing the position of your palm up or face down and you will find that you will have greater success in your relationships with others.

Shaking hands is a relic of the primitive communal era. When primitive people met, they extended their hands to each other with open palms forward in order to show their lack of weapons. This gesture has undergone changes over time and its modifications have appeared, such as waving the hand in the air, placing the palm on the chest and many others. The modern form of this ancient greeting ritual involves people holding out their hands and shaking them slightly, which is done in most English-speaking countries during greetings and farewells. Typically, when shaking hands, clasped hands are shaken 3 to 7 times.

We talked above about how, with the help of different turns of the palm, you can give a dominant, dominant meaning to a gesture. Let us now consider the meaning of these two palm positions for a handshake.

Let's say you meet someone for the first time and greet each other with a normal handshake. A handshake conveys one of three types of possible relationships. The first is superiority: “This person is trying to put pressure on me. Better to be careful with him." The second is humility, compliance: “I can put pressure on this person. He will do as I wish." The third is “equality: “I like this person. We will get along well.” This information is transmitted unconsciously, but with some training and purposeful use of a particular handshake, you can have a direct impact on the outcome of your meeting with other people.

This chapter will talk about the types of handshakes.

During a power handshake, your hand grips the other person's hand (in the picture, your hand is wearing a black cuff) so that your palm is facing down (Figure 19). It is not necessary that your arm be turned horizontally, but it is important that it be turned downward relative to the other person's arm. By doing this, you are telling him that you want to dominate the process of communicating with this person. We studied the behavior of 54 successful, high-ranking executives, and these studies revealed that 42 of them not only extended their hands first to shake hands, but also used an authoritative way of shaking hands.

A dog shows submission by lying on its back and exposing its throat to the attacker, while a person uses the upward position of the palm to show submission. This handshake differs from the power handshake in that you extend your hand with your palm facing up (Figure 20). This is especially necessary in situations where you want to give the initiative to another person, or allow him to feel like he is in control.

However, it must be borne in mind that there may be circumstances in which the palm up position will not necessarily be interpreted as a sign of submission. For example, a person suffers from arthritis of the hands and therefore is forced to exchange a weak handshake, under these conditions it is very easy to force him to a submissive type of handshake.

Surgeons, artists, painters, and musicians who rely on sensitive hands professionally tend to exchange a limp handshake to protect their hands.

To fully determine a person’s intentions, observe his subsequent behavior after greeting; a compliant person will be characterized by other gestures of compliance, and a domineering person will show his aggressiveness.

When two powerful people shake hands, there is a symbolic struggle between them, during which each tries to subjugate the other's hand. The result is a handshake in which both hands remain upright and both people feel a sense of respect and understanding for each other. This is exactly the kind of handshake that a father teaches his son, saying: “Let’s shake hands like men.”

When a person greets you with an authoritative handshake, it is not only difficult to persuade him to give you a compliant type of handshake, but also to do it in a subtle way. There is a simple way to “disarm” a domineering partner, which gives you the opportunity not only to regain the initiative, but also to embarrass the other by invading his personal zone. To learn this method of disarming, you need to practice the following movements: when you take the hand, take a step forward with your left foot (Fig. 23). Then move your right foot forward and stand to the left in front of this person, moving into his personal area (Fig. 24). Then, to complete the maneuver, place your left foot behind your right and shake your partner's hand. This tactic allows you to align your hand position or turn the other person's hand into a compliant handshake. It also allows you to become the master of the situation because... you violated his intimate area.

Analyze your behavior while shaking hands and watch which foot (right or left) you take a step forward at the moment you extend your hand. Most people do this with their right foot and are therefore at a great disadvantage in a dominant handshake because they have little room to maneuver, allowing the other to take over. Practice moving towards your partner with your left foot; in this position it is much easier to neutralize a dominant handshake and gain the upper hand in relationships.

Although it is generally accepted that you should shake hands when meeting someone, there are some circumstances in which you should not be the first to extend your hand to shake hands. Considering that a handshake is a sign of hospitality and cordiality, you need to ask yourself a few questions before initiating a handshake: “How am I greeted? Am I welcome? Sales agents are specially trained in the rule not to offer a handshake to a buyer whom they have approached without an invitation and without prior agreement, because this may have a negative impact on business, because the buyer may not be happy with you at all, and you are forcing him to do something he doesn’t want to do. Again, people with arthritis and people with tender fingers may become defensive if you force your handshake on them. In this case, it is better to wait to see if the owner offers his hand, and if not, then simply nod his head in greeting.

A dominant handshake is the most aggressive type of handshake, because... it gives a person little chance of establishing relationships of equal partnership. This type of handshake is typical of an aggressive, domineering man who always initiates the handshake and the palm-down gesture forces the man to comply because he has to respond with the palm-up hand.

There are several ways to handle a dominant handshake. You can use the step-by-step method described above, but sometimes it is difficult to apply because... Usually the hand of the author of the gesture is stiff and tense, which does not allow such a maneuver. A very simple way is to grab the person's hand from above by the wrist and then shake it (Fig. 26). With this method, you become the master of the situation, because take over the other person's hand, and so. While this may confuse someone with authoritative intentions, we recommend using this handshake with certain precautions.

The following grasping gesture, called the glove, is commonly used by politicians. The author of this gesture is trying to emphasize that he is honest and can be trusted, but if you use this gesture when meeting someone, you can produce the opposite effect. The recipient will treat you with suspicion and caution in this case. This glove gesture should only be used towards people you know well.

Some handshakes can be so detached and unemotional that it feels like you're touching a dead fish, especially if the hand is cold and clammy. Touching the lifeless, limp body of a dead fish is known to leave an unpleasant sensation, and people usually associate this with a person's spinelessness, especially since such a person's hand gives in easily to pressure.

It's amazing that many people who have this handshake don't know it, so it makes sense to ask your friends to describe your handshake to you before deciding which handshake to use in the future.

A strong handshake, even cracking your fingers, is a hallmark of an aggressive, tough person.

Unfortunately, there are limited ways to respond to such a handshake, unless you respond with a curse or a punch to the nose!

Shaking with an unbent, straight hand, like a dominant one, is a sign of an aggressive person. Its main purpose is to maintain distance and prevent a person from entering your intimate area. This handshake is also used to protect their personal territory by people who grew up in rural areas and have a wider intimate area. Villagers, however, will lean forward or even balance on one leg.

Shaking the fingertips is reminiscent of shaking a straight, unbent hand, not fully completed: instead of a hand, by mistake, only the fingers are placed in the palm. Even if the initiator of the greeting is friendly towards the recipient, in fact he is not confident in himself. As in the previous case, the purpose of this handshake is to keep your partner at a comfortable distance.

A handshake in which the initiator pulls the recipient's hand toward himself can mean one of two things: either he is an insecure person who feels safe only within his own personal zone, or he belongs to a nation characterized by a narrower intimate zone, and in this case he behaves normally.

A handshake using both hands immediately expresses sincerity, trust or depth of feeling towards the recipient. Here it is necessary to pay attention to two significant points. Firstly, to convey the overwhelming feelings that the initiator wants to express, the left hand is used, which is placed on the recipient’s right hand. The degree of this overcrowding will be expressed by the place on which the hand is placed. For example, if the initiator’s left hand takes the partner’s elbow (Fig. 33), then this expresses more feeling than when clasping the wrist (Fig. 32).

If the hand is placed on the shoulder (Fig. 35), then this expresses more feeling than when it is on the forearm (Fig. 34). Secondly, the behavior of the initiator’s left hand means a violation of the intimate and especially intimate zones of the recipient. In general, clasping the wrist and shoulder is possible only between close friends and relatives and only if the initiator’s left hand penetrates only into the intimate area, without touching a particularly intimate area.

Touching the shoulder (Fig. 35) or forearm (Fig. 34) affects a particularly intimate area and can lead to a rapprochement or touching of bodies. This is only possible between people experiencing a particularly emotional uplift at the moment of shaking. If the feeling experienced is not mutual , or if the initiator has no particular reason to greet with both hands, then the recipient may feel mistrust or suspicion about the initiator's intentions. It is often seen how politicians greet their constituents with this gesture, or sales agents greet their clients. with both hands, not realizing that this means political suicide or a ruined deal for them.

And in continuation of the topic of sign language I touched on, I suggest you learn more about the handshake. This knowledge will not only help you make a good and “correct impression”, but will also show the mood of the interlocutor. I especially recommend it to those who often travel to business meetings.

Let's start with a short excursion into history. The handshake has deep roots in history. In ancient times, people showed open palms to show the absence of weapons. The ancient Romans had a bad habit of hiding daggers in the sleeves of their clothes, so they also invented and introduced shaking the wrists when meeting at waist level. Later this movement was transformed into a handshake. It began to be used in business transactions back in the 19th century. In most countries, the hand is shaken five to seven times, in Germany - two to three times, after which the hand is held for some more time. The French use the handshake most and most often.

Now let's move on to the main thing: how you can determine your mood by a handshake, what kind of handshake is appropriate during business meetings, and how not to shake hands.

With the first handshake, you can understand how your interlocutor is feeling. It can be dominance, submission or equality. These signals are sent and perceived subconsciously and influence the outcome of the meeting.

Dominance. It is transmitted by turning your hand so that it is under the palm of your interlocutor, palm facing up. You can do the same, thereby showing that you occupy a dominant position.

Submission. With this handshake, the interlocutor makes sure that his hand is on the bottom, thereby showing that you will make the decision. Likewise, you can use this handshake to show your submission (with your boss, for example) or if you want to apologize for something.

Equality. When two equally energetic people meet, the handshake turns into a kind of power play, and thus the palms remain upright. This handshake immediately establishes an atmosphere of equality and respect. Very often such interlocutors are not inferior to each other in negotiations.

A small lyrical digression. When shaking hands, you need to take into account who exactly you are meeting. For example, violinists, pianists, artists and neurosurgeons may shake hands very carefully so as not to damage it. Also, the handshake will be weak if a person has problems with the joints or has a hand injury. You should not expect a favorable outcome if you forcefully squeeze and vigorously shake the hand of a person suffering from arthritis. So be careful.

Power games: techniques

If you feel that they are deliberately trying to force you into a “subordinate” position during a handshake, there are several options to avoid this.

"Step to the right" technique
The authors of the book “The New Body Language” advise taking a step forward with your left foot before shaking hands, approaching the interlocutor. Then step right and shake hands. In this way, you will invade the personal space of the interlocutor and will be able to take control of the situation, transforming the handshake into the category of equal or even dominant (on your part). Of course, to do this beautifully and unnoticed, you need to practice.

"Palm on top" technique
If the other person tries to move his palm into a dominant position (that is, on top of yours), do not resist. But then cover his right hand with your left hand. It turns out to be a two-handed handshake and your hand is on top.

Handshakes to gain control

A handshake with both hands is a demonstration of sincerity and depth of feelings. You can see such a handshake between friends who have not seen each other for a long time, or relatives (and here it may well develop into a hug). The left hand expresses the depth of feelings of the initiator of the handshake. Therefore, the place where the left hand of the handshake initiator is on the right hand of the interlocutor plays a very important role. But in this way the initiator can not only show his closeness, but also establish complete control.

For example, an elbow squeeze demonstrates more intimacy (or control) than a wrist squeeze. For a person to feel comfortable with such a handshake, he must be truly close to you. If you try to shake the hand of a person you have seen only a few times in your life (of course, to demonstrate a special relationship), you will only cause more mistrust and, perhaps, even fear in him. To him, it will look like you are trying to hold him back so he doesn't run away.

For the second part, I saved examples of the worst handshakes that definitely should not be used. Unless on purpose.

Before you shake hands, think carefully about how best to do it. Take into account who exactly you are meeting with and what outcome you expect. And I would like to note once again that most people shake hands completely unconsciously and are unlikely to deliberately try to move your hand into a subordinate position. Their handshake shows their character and attitude, so be careful.

And I would also really like to hear about your experience. Have you noticed the connection between a handshake at a business meeting and its outcome?

And in continuation of the topic of sign language I touched on, I suggest you learn more about the handshake. This knowledge will not only help you make a good and “correct impression”, but will also show the mood of the interlocutor. I especially recommend it to those who often travel to business meetings.

Let's start with a short excursion into history. The handshake has deep roots in history. In ancient times, people showed open palms to show the absence of weapons. The ancient Romans had a bad habit of hiding daggers in the sleeves of their clothes, so they also invented and introduced shaking the wrists when meeting at waist level. Later this movement was transformed into a handshake. It began to be used in business transactions back in the 19th century. In most countries, the hand is shaken five to seven times, in Germany - two to three times, after which the hand is held for some more time. The French use the handshake most and most often.

Now let's move on to the main thing: how you can determine your mood by a handshake, what kind of handshake is appropriate during business meetings, and how not to shake hands.

With the first handshake, you can understand how your interlocutor is feeling. It can be dominance, submission or equality. These signals are sent and perceived subconsciously and influence the outcome of the meeting.

Dominance. It is transmitted by turning your hand so that it is under the palm of your interlocutor, palm facing up. You can do the same, thereby showing that you occupy a dominant position.

Submission. With this handshake, the interlocutor makes sure that his hand is on the bottom, thereby showing that you will make the decision. Likewise, you can use this handshake to show your submission (with your boss, for example) or if you want to apologize for something.

Equality. When two equally energetic people meet, the handshake turns into a kind of power play, and thus the palms remain upright. This handshake immediately establishes an atmosphere of equality and respect. Very often such interlocutors are not inferior to each other in negotiations.

A small lyrical digression. When shaking hands, you need to take into account who exactly you are meeting. For example, violinists, pianists, artists and neurosurgeons may shake hands very carefully so as not to damage it. Also, the handshake will be weak if a person has problems with the joints or has a hand injury. You should not expect a favorable outcome if you forcefully squeeze and vigorously shake the hand of a person suffering from arthritis. So be careful.

Power games: techniques

If you feel that they are deliberately trying to force you into a “subordinate” position during a handshake, there are several options to avoid this.

"Step to the right" technique
The authors of the book “The New Body Language” advise taking a step forward with your left foot before shaking hands, approaching the interlocutor. Then step right and shake hands. In this way, you will invade the personal space of the interlocutor and will be able to take control of the situation, transforming the handshake into the category of equal or even dominant (on your part). Of course, to do this beautifully and unnoticed, you need to practice.

"Palm on top" technique
If the other person tries to move his palm into a dominant position (that is, on top of yours), do not resist. But then cover his right hand with your left hand. It turns out to be a two-handed handshake and your hand is on top.

Handshakes to gain control

A handshake with both hands is a demonstration of sincerity and depth of feelings. You can see such a handshake between friends who have not seen each other for a long time, or relatives (and here it may well develop into a hug). The left hand expresses the depth of feelings of the initiator of the handshake. Therefore, the place where the left hand of the handshake initiator is on the right hand of the interlocutor plays a very important role. But in this way the initiator can not only show his closeness, but also establish complete control.

For example, an elbow squeeze demonstrates more intimacy (or control) than a wrist squeeze. For a person to feel comfortable with such a handshake, he must be truly close to you. If you try to shake the hand of a person you have seen only a few times in your life (of course, to demonstrate a special relationship), you will only cause more mistrust and, perhaps, even fear in him. To him, it will look like you are trying to hold him back so he doesn't run away.

For the second part, I saved examples of the worst handshakes that definitely should not be used. Unless on purpose.

Before you shake hands, think carefully about how best to do it. Take into account who exactly you are meeting with and what outcome you expect. And I would like to note once again that most people shake hands completely unconsciously and are unlikely to deliberately try to move your hand into a subordinate position. Their handshake shows their character and attitude, so be careful.

And I would also really like to hear about your experience. Have you noticed the connection between a handshake at a business meeting and its outcome?

By turning the palm differently, you can give this gesture different meanings. When your hand grips another person's hand with the palm facing down, it is a power handshake. This handshake indicates that you want to dominate the communication process with your partner.

When you extend your hand with your palm facing up, it is a submissive handshake. It is necessary in situations where you need to give the initiative to another person or allow him to feel like he is in charge of the situation.

A handshake in which the partner's hands remain in the same position means that both partners have a sense of respect and understanding for each other.

A too short, limp handshake with very dry hands can indicate indifference. On the contrary, a prolonged handshake and too wet hands indicate strong excitement. A slightly longer handshake, along with a smile and a warm gaze, demonstrates friendliness. However, you should not hold your partner’s hand in your hand; he may feel irritated (as if he had fallen into a trap).

You should take into account the difference in views on a handshake among foreigners. For example, when meeting with Asian partners, you should not squeeze their palm too hard or for long. On the contrary, Western European and American entrepreneurs hate limp handshakes because they value athleticism and energy. They should shake hands vigorously and firmly.

Shaking with a straight, unbent hand, like an authoritative handshake, is a sign of disrespect.

Knowing the cultural differences in the use of handshakes and the way people introduce themselves to each other can also help avoid awkwardness when conducting international business. In the US, shaking hands is often seen as an expression of gratitude. A strong handshake with several hand movements conveys the meaning of trust in your partner. In France, one movement of the hand when shaking hands is enough, and the pressure should be less. In Latin America, a very light handshake is encouraged, but withdrawing your hand too quickly can be perceived as an insult. In India, male work colleagues always shake hands when they meet, but women themselves choose whether to use

Analysis of NSO based on watching the series “Lie to Me”

voice tone, breathing rate, gaze. Even now we often understand each other without words.
Nonverbal language is so powerful and common that we often have no trouble understanding a dog what it wants. The dog predicts many of our actions, for example, it knows in advance when we go for a walk with it, and when we go outside without it.
It remains to add that if a person (as well as animals) lacked non-verbal communication, then we would be like machines without feelings and emotions that exchange information using simple printed words (for example: using the Internet) but, for example, not handwritten text - after all, handwriting, in a way, is also an object of non-verbal communication.

1. Define nonverbal communication. Is it possible to clearly separate verb and non-verbal behavior into two distinct categories?

For most people the phrase non-verbal communication means communication carried out by non-verbal means(that is, words are the verbal element of communication). But this definition does not adequately reflect the complexity of the phenomenon being studied. However, despite the breadth of this definition, it is convenient to use for understanding and assessing the listed aspects.

Verbal and nonverbal behavior are almost impossible to separate into two separate categories. Consider, for example, the hand movements that make up the language of the deaf-mute. Basically, gestures of deaf and dumb people are of a completely linguistic (verbal) nature, while hand movements are traditionally considered as “non-verbal” behavior. McNeill (1992) showed that some gestures have a linguistic meaning, since with various types of aphasia, along with lost verbal skills in a person, gestures with corresponding linguistic functions also disappear. And vice versa, not all words that we pronounce are clearly and undoubtedly verbal means of communication - consider, say, onomatopoeic words, for example: buzz And mumble or speech not organized into sentences, as seen in those with aphasia.

2. What are the main areas of research on non-verbal communication?

Body movements and postures usually include gestures, body movements (arms, head, feet, legs), facial expression (smile) and postures. When a person frowns, moves his shoulders and tilts his head, then all this can be called body movements and postures. This branch of the science of nonverbal behavior is called kinesics and studies gestures, postures, touches, facial expressions, movements and eye contact (blinking, direction and duration of gaze, pupil dilation).

3. What is the role of the environment in nonverbal communication?

Notebook

4. physical characteristics of communication participants as one of the research areas of paralinguistics.

+II. Physical characteristics of communication participants

Physical characteristics include objects that remain unchanged during communication. These are nonverbal signals that have a strong influence on interlocutors and are in no way related to visible body movements: figure and facial features, general physical attractiveness, height, weight, hair, skin color, tone of voice and etc. Odors (body and breath), associated with a person are generally considered part of the person's physical appearance. In addition, objects associated with interaction participants can also influence their physical attractiveness. They're called artifacts: clothing, cosmetics, glasses, wigs and hairpieces, false eyelashes, jewelry and accessories (for example, a briefcase).

5. give a classification of non-verbal means of communication